Free: Heart Shaped Butt

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Hen is distraught! She wants to make a valentine for Cow, but there’s no ribbon! No glue! Not a speck of glitter! What will she do? All seems lost, but then: a stroke of inspiration. Her own butt is heart-shaped! Can she turn her behind into a valentine? Join this dramatic chicken in a charming Valentine’s Day tale that will have the whole family laughing. Free on Kindle.
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The Sons of the Gods: Neither Gods Nor Men

The Sons of the Gods: Neither Gods Nor Men

It’s 2026, an alternate future where Trump-Hillary and the virus never happened, but things were still looking grim. Europe is rebuilding in the wake of the ISIS Wars that ravaged the continent, and now international tensions toward the US are at an all-time high.

During which time, three American teenage boys discover they have superhuman abilities–pyromancy, psionics, and materamancy–and they have no idea how or why they have these godlike powers. One of them is good man despite his genuinely traumatic childhood, another, a girl-crazy genius who would love to see humankind brought into the future, and the third, a laid-back fellow who wouldn’t mind making the world a better place than how he found it.

The three become fast friends, and agree to keep their powers secret so they wouldn’t be thrust into the public eye, and forced to be weapons in a war they don’t want to fight. Together, they try to carry on as normal as possible in their environment in the Midwestern United States.

Action, comedy, romance, drama, horror, suspense, references, mystery… the boys have it all. Join THE SONS OF THE GODS and their friends in the first book of their trilogy: NEITHER GODS NOR MEN, a truly grand story over 20 years in the making. $9.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Security Risk

Security Risk
A fun, humorous romantic suspense from USA Today bestselling author, Megan Matthews!

When I moved to Pelican Bay to set up a new security company as a fugitive recovery specialist, I didn’t expect to find my next-door neighbor trying to break into her aunt’s house.

I also didn’t expect her to have random henchmen harassing her for diamonds she insists she doesn’t have.

Tabitha Thompson is running from an abusive ex-boyfriend, and I desperately want to help. As a former Navy SEAL, I have the skills necessary to deal with almost any idiot willing to give his girlfriend a black eye. The trouble is my desire to protect her goes way beyond casual. But Tabitha pulls back when I show her I’m interested. Is it just my bad luck with women, or did her ex’s abuse cause her to distrust all men?

Either way, when Tabitha’s lies, drama, and ex-boyfriend catch up with her, it may not be something I can handle on my own. I just hope if things turn violent, we both come out alive. Free on Kindle.
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Candles Over the Septic Tank

Candles Over the Septic Tank

Grandma Edith’s hobbies are playing poker, eight-ball pool, and driving telephone scammers to hang up on her. Her granddaughter-in-law, Marcie, has a husband who won’t go away; he thinks the “ex” stands for kisses. When the two women set out to find Grandma Edith’s missing money, their unorthodox methods often produce unexpected and laugh-out-loud funny results. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Drunk as Fu*k

drunk as fuck

“An unconventional take on a memoir!” – Amazon Review

“one eyebrow-raising funny story after another” – Readers’ Favorite Review
___

Drunk as F*ck is part memoir, part self-development, with a touch of comedy.

Born into an unstable family, Ryan Kanaley was eleven the first time he drank alcohol.

By seventeen he nearly lost his life in a tragic accident.

Before he was old enough to legally drink alcohol, he found himself behind bars.

By the age of thirty, he finished six years in the military, finished three college degrees, and owned his own company.

Even if alcohol or addiction doesn’t directly affect you, this book is sure to entertain! So click the BUY NOW button at the top and join the drunken escapades with a double shot of life lessons! Free on Kindle.
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An Accidental Royal Kidnap

An Accidental Royal Kidnap

A playful English comedy following the fortunes of London schoolteacher George Nearly, after he stumbles upon a princess on his living-room rug. Full of fun, quirky characters, witty one-liners and observations on modern life, it’s a royally funny novel! (Its sequel, ‘The Royal Wedding Saboteurs’, is also discounted to half price during the offer period.) $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: The Good Audit

The Good Audit

A true-to-life satire poking fun at the work, environment, and culture inside today’s largest public accounting firms (and really, the corporate office environment in general).

Titles matter more than real names and the team quickly discovers there is no such thing as a good audit. Will the team come together to get the job done or fall apart long before the artificially imposed deadline to finish? Free on Kindle.
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Free: Wagging the Dog: A Rescue Dog’s Funny Story

Wagging the Dog: A Rescue Dog's Funny Story
Rescued before he was due to be euthanised and now a celebrity animal star, Elliott gives you a dog’s version of life, death and stardom. Now that he’s been fired, it’s a new challenge for Elliott’s Timeshare owners. Can they get him back on TV again? Can he learn some risky new skills and tricks in time? With thrills, spills and laughter, as the drama goes right down to the wire on Christmas Eve. Free on Kindle.
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Swipe Right for Murder

Dating is tough. Especially if the guy you like might be a serial killer.

After a devastating heartbreak and a string of short-lived, failed relationships, college student Georgie Itoyama has now decided to approach dating in the same way that she approaches everything else: methodically, logically, and efficiently.

Georgie downloads countless dating apps, determined to find the love of her life as easily as she orders jeans online. And while her love-at-first-sight aspirations don’t exactly come true, she does find someone she likes. Quite a lot.

There’s only one problem. Girls are going missing at Georgie’s university, and all the signs are pointing to . . . him?

But that’s ridiculous. What are the chances that she’s dating an actual serial killer?

Then she matches with Nate. Mysterious, intelligent, and oddly fixated on solving the local disappearances. As Georgie’s relationships deepen with each of her guys, she unwittingly finds herself caught up in the mess that is murder, intrigue, and the nightmare of online dating.

Fast-paced, hilariously witty, and exhilaratingly suspenseful, Swipe Right for Murder explores the world of modern dating and all the “what-ifs” that come with it. $1.99 on Kindle
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Hits, Heathens, and Hippos

 Buying Options Read Now You already own this item. Read anytime on your Kindle apps and devices. Buy for others Give as a gift or purchase for a team or group. Learn more Quantity: 1 1 Buy for others Add to List Share <Embed> Amazon book clubs early access Add to book club Not in a club? Learn more Sponsored Look inside this book.Hits, Heathens, and Hippos: Stories from an Agent, Activist, and Adventurer by [Marty Essen] Play Audible sample Follow the Author Marty Essen ? Following Hits, Heathens, and Hippos: Stories from an Agent, Activist, and Adventurer
He’s survived a fierce hippo attack and a sting from the world’s most venomous insect, but can he survive an over-the-top father, who prays aloud in restaurants, faith-heals his old Toyota, and believes demons possess his Masonic Lodge watch? Find out in the hilarious new memoir from multi-award-winning author Marty Essen! “Marty Essen’s book, Hits, Heathens and Hippos, takes you on a comedy journey that never ends. It’s a wicked funny ride. And I know funny.”—Karen Pickering, comedian $0.99 on Kindle.
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Something Blue: A Sweet Romance Anthology

SOMETHING BLUE: a sweet romance anthology

Say “I do” to this collection of sweet wedding-themed romcoms from the team who brought you the USA Today Bestseller Christmas Actually!

Four Weddings and an Almost Funeral by Teri Wilson

Petals & Playlists by Lacey Baker

The Custom-made Bridesmaid by Caro Carson

Something Borrowed by Cassidy Carter

Always You by Melinda Curtis

Love By Accident by Marianne Evans

The Wedding Rivals by Nicole Flockton

Second Chance Sweetheart by Shirley Jump

Something Lost Something Found by Makenna Lee

Wedding at Winding Woods by Janice Lynn

A Wedding at the USO by Tif Marcelo

Her Purrfect Plus One by Robyn Neeley

A Wedding to Remember by Annie Rains

Then, And Now by Susan Sands

Always & Furever by Victoria Schade

Wedding Veils & Puppy Tails by Lizzie Shane

The Groom That Got Away by Sasha Summers

The Perfect Fit by Roe Valentine

$0.99 on Kindle.
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Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a BordelloWhat would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. Are voters really ready for the whole truth?Are you?Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Only in America

Only in America
Hollywood is being driven crazy by an errant screenplay. The writer, Milly is stuck in a workaday London job and has no idea it is her script causing pandemonium Stateside. A studio exec, Mitch leads a manic hunt to find this writer, to save his career and make her life.

A breathless transatlantic romantic laugh-out-loud comedy, Only in America is impossible to put down and has readers smiling from ear to ear.
Free on Kindle.
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Renouncing Holy Logic: Exposing the Secret Codes of Control, Power, Leadership, and Success

Renouncing Holy Logic: Exposing the Secret Codes of Control, Power, Leadership, and Success
Simple answers to complicated questions: Why are there wars? Why do some people stay poor no matter what they do? Can you change your luck? How can you control your destiny? How can you change your life practically, simply and with no miracles or magic? … and so much!

Exclusive bewitching journey to discover the mysterious secrets holding you back: Thrills, tragedy, comedy, excitement, business, philosophy…
$0.99 on Kindle.
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The Royal Wedding Saboteurs

The Royal Wedding Saboteurs
When royal rebel Princess Araminta ropes schoolteacher George Nearly into her plans to sabotage her sister’s wedding, comedy chaos ensues as our hero lurches from one crisis to another. This hilarious sequel to ‘An Accidental Royal Kidnap’ (available to download FREE until 29 Mar) is a royally funny novel that will have you crying with laughter! (Book 3 in the series, ‘Royal Wedding in Vegas’, is also discounted. to $2.99.) $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: No More Bad Dates

No More Bad Dates

The No More Bad Dates Pact: stop dating the wrong guys and start dating the right ones – weirdos and jerks need not apply.

Every part of my life is a mess—and not even a hot one. My so-called career is on hold, I keep disappointing my family by not doing “something important” with my life, and I always, always choose the wrong guys.

Case in point: getting dumped during the romantic vows at a wedding. I’ve officially hit rock bottom. It’s time I got serious about finding a decent man. So, I form a dating pact with two friends who are just as bad at choosing men as me. We agree to vet one another’s dates to weed out the weirdos and jerks.

The No More Bad Dates pact is officially born. But when my roommate surprises me by joining the pact, he finds something wrong with every single guy I meet. Jason Christie is confident, sexy, and good-looking in a movie star kind of way. Sure, we’re good friends, but he’s only ever been Jason, the serial dater. Totally off-limits.

That is until I start to have feelings for him. Feelings I should definitely not be having. Feelings like wondering what it’d be like to kiss him.No. I can’t go there. Not only will it destroy our friendship, but I know he’ll break my heart. Only now I’ve begun to fall, I don’t know how to stop.

No More Bad Dates is a fun, heart-warming friends to lovers rom-com for fans of Sophie Kinsella, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Lindsey Kelk, and TV shows like Jane the Virgin. It’s a light-hearted, humorous, and fun full-length novel that can be read as a standalone title. High Tea is a spin-off of Kate O’Keeffe’s bestselling Cozy Cottage Café series. Free on Kindle.
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Free: A Comedian Walks Into A Funeral Home

A Comedian Walks Into A Funeral Home

“Comedy for the Dead. Talk about a tough comedy crowd … An intelligent story that shines the light of laughter into the shadows of loss. It grabs you from the start and never let’s go.”
–Louie Anderson, Comedian, Actor, Author

Free on Kindle.
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The Great Mongolian Bowling League of the United States of America

The Great Mongolian Bowling League of the United States of America

“A joyous, uplifting, and uniquely rendered first novel. It is a testament to kindness and friendship and has readers falling in love with Harold Kushner, a man for all seasons. Sit back and drink in some warmth, wit, and wisdom.” —Ken Eulo, Author of The Brownstone Trilogy

HAROLD KUSHNER and his roommate of thirty years, Murray Schwartz, are average senior citizens facing down their mortality in a trailer park in Land O’ Lakes, Florida. Two self-professed “best Jewish bowlers ever” wind up contestants in the first-ever Great Mongolian Bowling League Tournament in the U.S.A. The rivalry becomes a high stakes roll-off as Harold approaches “perfection” (defined in the bowling world as three 300- score games in a row) despite a fix set by the alley’s mobster owners. As the reporters and camera crews swarm to cover his amazing fete, Harold finds himself in a life review spanning back to his Bar Mitzvah and a past incarnation as a Mongolian warrior in the era of Genghis Khan, as he ponders profound questions we all ask as we near the end of our lives: Did my life have meaning? Did I fulfill my potential? Was I a good person?

Can Harold roll perfection to help his new Mongolian friends and live to tell the tale? The uncanny action unfolds in this beautiful comedy illuminating that although we come from worlds far apart, we share a common humanity. The outcome will impact millions… and strike you right in the heart. $2.99 on Kindle.
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