The Cover Up

The Cover Up

What could link a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret?

A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Chief Inspector Crispin Bissel, is in charge. He knows just the officer to front up the search, his wild, sexy ex-girlfriend, Selena Fontesse.

As Bissel dreams of kudos from finding the animal, he also dreams of rekindling the flame of lust if not love…

An outrageous madcap comedy walk on the wild side. Buy this book and forgive yourself for laughing. It’s not incorrect if you didn’t mean to. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Bucket to Greece

Bucket to Greece
A comical moving abroad adventure. Needing a pseudonym to avoid embarrassing his wife after deciding to pen a book about moving from England to Greece, the author dusted off his original name of V.D. Bucket, the name he was stuck with after being abandoned in a bucket as a baby. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Deader Homes and Gardens (Southern Ghost Hunter Mysteries, Book 4)

Free: Deader Homes and Gardens (Southern Ghost Hunter Mysteries, Book 4)
Southern belle Verity Long is back in business—as a ghost hunter. Now all she has to do is visit the town’s creepiest mansion and exorcise a family of vengeful spirits. Piece of cake. After all, ghosts love her and need her…that is until she meets the ghosts of Rock Fall mansion. They’ll do anything to keep their murderous secrets hidden within the cliff-side fortress—even if that means getting rid of one meddling ghost hunter. Free on Kindle.

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Free: Fashionably Dead

Free: Fashionably Dead
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.

“Uproariously witty, deliciously provocative, and just plain fun! No one delivers side-splitting humor and mouth-watering sensuality like Robyn Peterman. This is entertainment at its absolute finest!” – Darynda Jones, NY Times Bestselling Author of the Charley Davidson Series. Free on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Teaching Frankenstein – A Cautionary Tale

Free: Teaching Frankenstein – A Cautionary Tale
Every student has a story…

But you won’t find it here.

Dark, profane, and absurd, this comedy follows the journey of a young teacher on a misguided adventure to resurrect dead dreams. After being let go from his first school, the nameless narrator finds himself at a tough urban high school ready to quit. He decides that the only way to rekindle his passion for teaching is through his favorite novel. It’s a decision that leads him on an unsuspecting journey where he discovers that teaching a book about monsters means dealing with his own first.

The story exposes the importance of friendship and the truth behind what it means to be a teacher. Based on real events, the novel parallels Mary Shelley’s 1818 classic, Frankenstein, and shows that 200 years later, humanity still struggles to identify the real monsters.

It’s a must-read for aspiring educators, teachers, and those struggling with what it means to be a modern-day professional. Free on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

 
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Free: Return to Casa Grande

Free: Return to Casa Grande
A washed-up 80s soap star is thrust back into the spotlight after an accidental appearance on a hit reality show.

Blaze Hazelwood is a former “household name” actor searching for relevance in an entertainment environment that is remarkably different from what it was in his heyday.

Blaze was the breakout star of Casa Grande, a 1980s primetime soap beloved by millions. Twenty-five years after the show’s finale, the rest of the cast is struggling to get by but Blaze manages to stay busy doing voiceover work as well as participating in marketing focus groups taking on different personas to continually “build his chops.” Blaze loathes reality TV; for he truly believes that it represents everything wrong with the entertainment industry – and quite possibly the world – today.

Harvard educated Allison Hart, meanwhile, has a hit on her hands with Bling it on Featuring T-Bang – a “celebreality” show crafted around Hollywood “bad-boy” Thaddeus Stevens. The show’s popularity doubled the sales of a sponsor’s product and she has been approached to repeat its success for a product line geared towards women in an age group who still romance over Blaze Hazelwood and Casa Grande.

When Blaze unknowingly appears on an episode of Bling it On, the US goes with Blaze Fever – an affliction that many suffered in the 80s. This puts Blaze, Allison, and the former cast of Casa Grande on a collision course filled with hilarity, over the top revelations, and twists and turns that can only be true in a story featuring aging soap opera stars. Free on Kindle.

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Free: New Corpse in Town (Secret Seal Isle Mysteries, Book 1)

Free: New Corpse in Town (Secret Seal Isle Mysteries, Book 1)
FBI agent Cookie James is enjoying her extended leave from the agency on Secret Seal Isle, managing her quaint inn and flirting with the oh-so-sexy handyman, Dylan Creed…until her sixty-year-old mother goes skinny dipping and is almost drowned by a corpse. A phone call to the sheriff should mean the end of Cookie’s involvement, but when it’s clear the sheriff has no interest in the investigation, Cookie calls in reinforcements…her ex-partner Hunter O’Neil. Suddenly it’s like old times while the pair questions the residents of Secret Seal Isle. Except it’s not. Now she has both Hunter and Dylan vying for her attention, a wayward hippy mother, and a potential killer on the loose. Free on Kindle.

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The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.

The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.
Religion and fantasy sports collide in this over-the-top, crude satire that focuses on Danny’s alcohol-fueled obsession with the Game, an annual contest hosted by the Game Masters. Danny will do anything to be Chosen (with a capital C), but there’s the rub: even if he is Chosen, he won’t know it until the Game is over. He also doesn’t have any way of knowing what the rules to the Game are. But that’s just life, ya know? Or is it the Game? All bets are off in this thinly veiled mockery of everything you hold dear. $3.99 on Kindle.

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Remember

Remember
For most people, Christmas is a time of joy and anticipation. But when a freak accident robs Gracie of her memory, the lines between fantasy and reality blur.
Now there’s only one gift Gracie wants for Christmas, and the only man who can bring it is not Santa. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: 9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer

Free: 9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer

Spectacular southern belle Emily Spankhammer is driven by love and the dubious advice of Sparkle, her mostly invisible pink unicorn spirit guide, into a quest for romance. But with Sparkle more interested in his own deranged bucket list, and men as reliable as a 1971 1.6L Ford Pinto Runabout hatchback, what could possibly go wrong? Circus performers, billionaires, detectives, and a menagerie of wild animals; Emily and Sparkle work their way through the available talent like two raccoons through a picnic hamper. Doing for romance what Spinal Tap did for progressive rock, “9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer” has rewritten the romance novel one cliché at a time and left it noticeably unhinged. Free on Kindle.

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Free: Fashionably Dead

Free: Fashionably Dead

Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous… it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One. Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride. Free on Kindle.

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Why People Suck

Why People Suck
You’ve heard of Sigmund Freud. You’ve heard of Carl Jung. But have you heard of Abe Surde? Surde is a humorist and master mixologist who tackles–with a smile and a wink–one hundred commonly irritating, upsetting, and obnoxious personality types seen in everyday life.

From disconcerting creeps to loudmouth louts and worrisome weirdos, Surde shares with readers his channeled theories on the origins of bad behavior. His assemblage of wacky yet clever musings combined in a quasi-serious and silly way adds levity to a world gone mad.

His profound quest to understand why people suck results in a collection of nonsensical reasoning that amuses while simultaneously serving small kernels of truth that surprisingly hit the mark.

This book of “divine” insight is one of those guilty pleasures that tickle your funny bone unexpectedly.

The paperback version of WHY PEOPLE SUCK is a great icebreaker for parties and a fun distraction for anyone disturbed by the actions of another. It’s also a great gift for someone who needs a little hint.

Note of warning for delicate readers: the book contains adult language, references to sex and drugs, but only minimally to rock and roll. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Daddy 3.0: A Comedy of Errors (Fiction)

Daddy 3.0: A Comedy of Errors (Fiction)
What a mess. This was not supposed to happen.

This isn’t where Nick Owen thought he would be by this point in life. He used to be a busy web programmer. Now he spends most of his energy trying to stop his three-year-old twins from playing in a dirty sand pit. Nick thinks of himself as Daddy 3.0, a stay-at-home-dad—but he just wasn’t programmed for this.

He must navigate a new world of jungle gyms and playdates while supporting his surgeon wife. He tries his best to be there for the twins, but he can’t stop making a mess of things. He’s just about nearing the end of his rope when the Swing Incident happens. The Swing Incident, spoken of in hushed tones around Nick’s New York City apartment building, has caused the resident queen bee, nicknamed “Supermom,” to declare him an enemy for life. No matter what Nick does to get back into Supermom’s good graces, he fails spectacularly.

Now Nick’s going to have to learn to fight fire with fire and become the best superparent on the block. This hilarious new book by Rob Armstrong chronicles one man’s journey into the world of modern fatherhood—one botched haircut, playground fight, and dirty diaper at a time.

Stay-at-home-dads have a new hero, of sorts.

This hilarious new fiction book by Rob Armstrong chronicles one man’s journey into the world of modern fatherhood—one botched haircut, playground fight, and dirty diaper at a time.

“An appealing comedy delivers many laugh-out-loud moments for the reader who has dealt with a fractious toddler or attempted to cope as an outsider in any type of clique.”- Kirkus Reviews $2.99 on Kindle.

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Where the Hell is Tesla? A Novel

Where the Hell is Tesla? A Novel
SCI-FI ODYSSEY. COMEDY. LOVE STORY. AND OF COURSE… NIKOLA TESLA.

I’ll let Chip, the main character tell you more: “I found the journal at work. Well, I don’t know if you’d call it work, but that’s where I found it. It’s the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an “Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus” – that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that’s just where the crazy starts.”

“LOVED IT! I loved this book! Hysterical, interesting, cool, just awesome. I flew through it in a few days and laughed the whole way through. I love sci-fi, I love humor and this is the perfect mix of both. Loved!!” — Customer Review $0.99 on Kindle.

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Better Date than Never Boxed Set (Books 1-6)

Better Date than Never Boxed Set (Books 1-6)
This USA Today Bestselling boxed set includes six contemporary romance novellas from the Better Date than Never series. Dating is so much easier when you have good friends to lean on. . . . $0.99 on Kindle.

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Rise of the Retics (Rosehaven, Book1)

Rise of the Retics (Rosehaven, Book1)
What would you do if you found out you weren’t entirely human and specially trained hunters were trying to kill you? For Tyranna, a young orphan, it means moving to Rosehaven: a hidden city filled with sword-fighting squirrels, goblin assassins, and a dangerous criminal organization run by an emotionally imbalanced fairy. It might not be the safest place in the world, but when you’re Retic it’s the only place left. $0.99 on Kindle.

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