Free: Too Good For The Hood

Free: Too Good For The Hood
“Too Good for the hood,” a new Black American comedy receiving rave reviews from critics: Lenny Kravitz, the big-hearted, diminutive Staten Islander faces the cruel, unrelenting recession of 2008. This new grad accountant/math major ends up hopelessly unemployed. Unbelievably, boldly, he overcomes his misfortune and becomes the hero of the hood. It’s a story of heart and pure determination. Free on Kindle.
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Free: Bad Neanderthal

Free: Bad Neanderthal
Zeezee is a Neanderthal living in 1980’s Britain. The Neanderthal were reintroduced by Prime Minister Maggie May to take the place of striking miners as they were meek and easy to control, but best of all they had no rights. For this reason they are mistreated or even murdered without recourse. However Zeezee is a police officer who is different to the other Neanderthal and wants justice for his people. Free on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Teaching Frankenstein – A Cautionary Tale

Free: Teaching Frankenstein – A Cautionary Tale
Every student has a story…

But you won’t find it here.

Dark, profane, and absurd, this comedy follows the journey of a young teacher on a misguided adventure to resurrect dead dreams. After being let go from his first school, the nameless narrator finds himself at a tough urban high school ready to quit. He decides that the only way to rekindle his passion for teaching is through his favorite novel. It’s a decision that leads him on an unsuspecting journey where he discovers that teaching a book about monsters means dealing with his own first.

The story exposes the importance of friendship and the truth behind what it means to be a teacher. Based on real events, the novel parallels Mary Shelley’s 1818 classic, Frankenstein, and shows that 200 years later, humanity still struggles to identify the real monsters.

It’s a must-read for aspiring educators, teachers, and those struggling with what it means to be a modern-day professional. Free on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

 
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Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a Bordello
What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth?

Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.

And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father,
Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all.

He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become.

Are voters really ready for the whole truth?

Are you?

Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Wanderlost: Shots of Literary Tequila for the Restless Soul

Free: Wanderlost: Shots of Literary Tequila for the Restless Soul
From being trapped in a plane with broken landing gear high above the Grand Canyon, to facing arrest in Hong Kong for holding up traffic in a bathrobe, to being accosted by three aggressive locals entering a men’s washroom in New Delhi Airport, what else can go wrong on a trip?

These are one man’s enthralling stories of wandering our planet that the Travel Channel doesn’t want you to know. Simon explains exactly what not to do when you find yourself in a hairy situation. Free on Kindle.

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Goat in the Meze

Goat in the Meze
A hapless American couple who are stranded in a backwater fishing village observe the outrageous antics of the quirky villagers. A feel-good read for lovers of Greece in this farcical look at Greek village life. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Return to Casa Grande

Free: Return to Casa Grande
A washed-up 80s soap star is thrust back into the spotlight after an accidental appearance on a hit reality show.

Blaze Hazelwood is a former “household name” actor searching for relevance in an entertainment environment that is remarkably different from what it was in his heyday.

Blaze was the breakout star of Casa Grande, a 1980s primetime soap beloved by millions. Twenty-five years after the show’s finale, the rest of the cast is struggling to get by but Blaze manages to stay busy doing voiceover work as well as participating in marketing focus groups taking on different personas to continually “build his chops.” Blaze loathes reality TV; for he truly believes that it represents everything wrong with the entertainment industry – and quite possibly the world – today.

Harvard educated Allison Hart, meanwhile, has a hit on her hands with Bling it on Featuring T-Bang – a “celebreality” show crafted around Hollywood “bad-boy” Thaddeus Stevens. The show’s popularity doubled the sales of a sponsor’s product and she has been approached to repeat its success for a product line geared towards women in an age group who still romance over Blaze Hazelwood and Casa Grande.

When Blaze unknowingly appears on an episode of Bling it On, the US goes with Blaze Fever – an affliction that many suffered in the 80s. This puts Blaze, Allison, and the former cast of Casa Grande on a collision course filled with hilarity, over the top revelations, and twists and turns that can only be true in a story featuring aging soap opera stars. Free on Kindle.

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Skylights

Skylights
When Alex Drummond stepped out his front door on the evening of his anniversary, January 26, 1996, he never imagined it would be 12 long years before he would see his family again. But under a dark and stormy London sky, Alex falls victim to a series of events that irreparably change his life’s path forever. His memory gone, he struggles through the night, searching for answers while his family searches for him.

12 years later, when the door to his past is violently blown open and his memories come flooding back, Alex must fight to come to terms with his unexpected new life as he toils to discover what is left of his old one. To Alex, it’s still 1996. What has become of his family? Who are these people who know him as Jack? A new wife, a new daughter, his amnesia now reversed, Alex must put the pieces of the puzzle back together while he still has time to do so. $2.99 on Kindle.

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The Chronicles of Cannon, Vol. 1

The Chronicles of Cannon, Vol. 1
A Shaman, a witch, a shetland pony. An Indian maid, a Mexican gardener, a pot-bellied pig. A German shepherd, a hollowed-out tree, a Nazi grandfather. A soufflé, a sausage, a scone. An alcoholic, gypsy-loving, hamster-warmongering father; an alcoholic, drug-addled, long-suffering mother; a gay yet fiercely homophobic brother; and finally, an absolute terrible slut of a sister.

And a phallic-shaped vegetable garden.

The first memoir from Lord Keith Cannon, second heir to the seat of Cannon Towers and the Title Baron of Ducklington. An important work detailing Lord Keith’s unique upbringing in one of the nation’s most over-privileged and inanely bizarre aristocratic families.

Enough to make us realize why the elite 1% are always so ludicrously mental. $2.99 on Kindle.

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Lessons From a Life Champion: Sometimes Even Winners Make Duty

Lessons From a Life Champion: Sometimes Even Winners Make Duty

This is the greatest self-help book since the Bible. It is the remarkable true story of how one man overcame everything from recreational drug use to a pooping addiction to finally learn what it means to be happy. The powerful message in this book will inspire you to live a better life. Just ask my 3rd cousin from Jersey. He didn’t read the book and he is still using heroin. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Tramps, Thieves and IT

Tramps, Thieves and IT
The events take place in the United States. Arrogant smuggler Alan and a shy homeless guy called George are the main characters of the book.

At some point, Lady Luck decided that she had paid too much attention to ungrateful Alan, and completely neglected George for no reason. “It looks like now is the high time to correct this injustice,” she thought once. Being very vigorous and determined, Lady Luck put the idea into action immediately. Which meant seismic changes in the lives of both main characters. And one of them didn’t like those changes at all…

So what happened to Alan and George? Well, the answer is in the book. As a bonus, you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common. See price on Kindle.

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Free: Tramps, Thieves and IT

Free: Tramps, Thieves and IT
The events take place in the United States. Arrogant smuggler Alan and a shy homeless guy called George are the main characters of the book.

At some point, Lady Luck decided that she had paid too much attention to ungrateful Alan, and completely neglected George for no reason. “It looks like now is the high time to correct this injustice,” she thought once. Being very vigorous and determined, Lady Luck put the idea into action immediately. Which meant seismic changes in the lives of both main characters. And one of them didn’t like those changes at all…

So what happened to Alan and George? Well, the answer is in the book. As a bonus, you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common. Free on Kindle.

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The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.

The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.
Religion and fantasy sports collide in this over-the-top, crude satire that focuses on Danny’s alcohol-fueled obsession with the Game, an annual contest hosted by the Game Masters. Danny will do anything to be Chosen (with a capital C), but there’s the rub: even if he is Chosen, he won’t know it until the Game is over. He also doesn’t have any way of knowing what the rules to the Game are. But that’s just life, ya know? Or is it the Game? All bets are off in this thinly veiled mockery of everything you hold dear. $3.99 on Kindle.

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Oh the times! Oh the customs!

Oh the times! Oh the customs!
Surreal, cynical and satirical look at the absurdity of our own established set of societal norms and the modern world itself. $0.99 on Kindle.

 

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Free: The Meth Chronicles

Free: The Meth Chronicles
THIS BOOK IS PART ONE OF A FOUR-PART SERIES.

Sutherland Smith moves to Las Vegas to escape the ennui of life in a small town. Once there, he discovers that the rumors that his cousin, (with whom he moves in), is on drugs are true. He decides to see what that ism is about. He gives meth a sniff to see if it can help cure his boredom. It works pretty well, especially when mixed with the ambience of Las Vegas. So he asks his cousin where she gets her meth, and she introduces him to Baron Rudolfo de la Palma, a man whose name is a lot more glamorous than he is. In fact, Baron Rudolfo de la Palma might be said to be the antithesis of glamorous, the last man you’d think of when you think of Las Vegas.

But he had that hoover. (That’s the pet name Sutherland gives to his meth.) And that’s all that matters.

As much as Sutherland enjoys being high in Vegas, cruising around with nothing much to do, he recognizes that he is not a man of independent means, and that he must face the unfortunate reality that he better find a job soon or else he will be headed right back to the small town from which he came.

He would hate to do that, because he sees so many fine women in Las Vegas with whom he’d like to share the hoove D. (His new discovery. Based on hoove.) But he won’t get the chance if he doesn’t find a way to stick around.

Yep. He’d have to get a job all right.

THIS BOOK IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES DUE TO EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT. Free on Kindle.

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The Sweetness Run (A Comedy Novel)

The Sweetness Run (A Comedy Novel)
A bold, laugh out loud comedy about a group of friends that have no business being together.

Fair warning: this is not a PG 13 comedy.

Colorful characters and over the top humor come together for a comedy that’s a combination of Family Guy, Deadpool and Curb Your Enthusiasm all rolled into one. $0.99 on Kindle.

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