A NIGHT ON THE TILES

A NIGHT ON THE TILES

A humorous story of one cats struggle to successfully train his human. Detailing the ups and downs of living with a human, Seamus the cat provides an entertaining and funny look at the life of a not so average cat. Fears, Winter and Territory control are just some of the numerous topics covered by this cheeky and troublesome puss. Loved by all (mostly), he takes us on a journey of discovery and adventure, with witty takes on the human race thrown in for good measure. Will he ever be able to fully “train” his human? Free on Kindle Unlimited or $4.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings! Kibbles of Wisdom from a Wise and Witty Feline

Free: Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings! Kibbles of Wisdom from a Wise and Witty Feline
Mr. Cheddar serves up his own unique and flavorful blend of feline tummy-tickling humor and puuuurfound kibbles of wisdom throughout the pages of:

Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings! Kibbles of Wisdom from a Wise and Witty Feline

Color photographs of the ruggedly handsome Mr. Cheddar are featured throughout this book, purrrfectly complimenting his wise and witty words.

Catty Topics of Note Include:

-advice for the lovelorn (applicable for felines and humans)

-dealing with difficult neighbors (only humans, of course)

-kibble quality control (never, NEVER let it slide)

-disciplining humans (they can be taught, with time and patience)

-litter box humor (snort…)

-napping etiquette (there is a right way to do everything)

-grooming 101 aka “gilding the furry”

-aging disgracefully and loving it (heh, if you’ve still got it…)

and munch, munch more…

Mr. Cheddar is currently furrrrriously pawing more litterary masterpieces, with minor assistance from his Meowmie: Geraldine.

He scoffs at the need for any type of human help, but with such big, manly paws, typing can be a challenge at times, for the otherwise incredibly gifted Mr. C.

And for Mr.Cheddar: furrrrbulous, feline words of wisdom and witticisms happily flow like a never-ending bag of premium kibble! Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: My Uncle Jack’s Off

Free: My Uncle Jack’s Off

Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they’re pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack’s Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You’ll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it’s time you saw Uncle Jack’s Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack’s Off today! You’ll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man’s epic climax to fun. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: A Danger to God Himself

Free: A Danger to God Himself
A Mormon missionary goes insane on his mission and all hell breaks loose. Miraculous occurrences. Various sexual congress. The God of the Universe striking people dead. Mormon missionary Kenny Feller has realized that God isn’t about to give him an ounce of the miracle power he needs to succeed on his mission—as promised. Then his junior companion shows up—the wisecracking Jared Baserman—and immediately starts hearing heavenly voices and seeing fantastic visions. For Kenny, it is immediately clear that God has sent Jared to propel him into Mormon Manhood. Soon enough, interests both virtuous and malevolent cozy up to Kenny and Jared, eager to make use of Jared’s gifting. As Jared’s messages grow more bizarre, Kenny begins to wonder: Is Jared really touched by God? And, if so—does God know what the !#%$@! He is doing? A Danger to God Himself is a hilarious takedown of religious certainty, a life-affirming tale set in 1970s Washington state—equal parts spiritual road map and coming-of-age tale and dark comedy. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Operation Underpants

Operation Underpants

87 year old ex-spy’s Max and Olivia live in a nursing home forgotten and waiting to die. After finding a secret message they are called back into action and must escape from the home and return to the UK – the fate of London and much of the world hangs in the balance. $1.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Graduation

Graduation

Bobby Jefferson is an immature seventeen year old who talks big and finds that doing the work is not as easy as it is saying you will. Through the help of women and discipline, Bob fills his cup of water tremendously faster than the average man could ever hope to in his lifetime. $19.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Burn

Burn

In the still of the night a beautiful woman’s spine is broken as she watches her boyfriend burn to death out on a creek. Daltrey, a young detective with the Vancouver Police Department, who likes to work outside the system and has time for no one, wants to know why. With the help of a young electronics genius unwittingly turned model, a legendary but aging private detective, and a host of others tied together by the mayhem of Vancouver’s seedy underbelly, Daltrey hunts a psychopath through webs of prostitution, deception, and savage violence. As undeniably funny as it is dark, Burn is at once a tale of revenge and of the elusive fantasies of truth driving each of its larger than life but deeply flawed hero’s, villains, and strange tag alongs. Paul Slatter offers a rare portrait of the lies and madness at the heart of modern life, revealing a host of hilarious desires, perversions, and raw psychotic impulses that are often too close for comfort, and somehow still keeps us laughing on every page. $5.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Mid Life Backpacker

Free: Mid Life Backpacker

This is the first book, a short novel in the Mid Life Backpacker comedy series. It combines dark humor and pathos, brilliantly. It follows the misadventures of John Dot, a mid life, depressive man as he tries to navigate life, relationships and travel. The book will make you laugh out loud and will also touch you too. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Hey Doorman

Free: Hey Doorman

Take a trip, not only into LA night life—a city that draws people from all across the globe—but into the mind of the funniest/smartest bouncer you’ll ever meet, as he observes you from sobriety to total inebriation, and everything in between. John P. Kildemm is sarcastic, funny, wry, well-read, and rarely violent. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Didn’t Get Frazzled

Didn’t Get Frazzled

A fictional story about life and love in medical school, Didn’t Get Frazzled takes the reader on a four year adventure into the bowels of Bellevue Hospital and the equally strange world of the mid ‘90s New York City singles scene. $0.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now
Buy on iTunes

Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings!

Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings!

Mr. Cheddar’s Meowsings! Kibbles of Wisdom from a Wise and Witty Feline will bring many smiles and chuckles to your day, especially for those who love and share their lives with special feline friends. Catty Topics of Note include: Advice for the lovelorn (applicable for felines and humans), dealing with difficult neighbors (only humans, of course), kibble quality control, disciplining humans (they can be taught, with time and patience), litter box humor, napping etiquette (there is a right way to do everything), grooming 101 aka “gilding the furry” and munch, munch more! This is Mr. Cheddar’s >^^< first (but definitely not last) feline eBook classic! Download a copy today to enjoy Mr. Cheddar at his best! Furrbulous feline fun, unique catty wisdom and lots of belly laughs await!! $0.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

History Retweets Itself: ROCK & ROLL EDITION

History Retweets Itself: ROCK & ROLL EDITION

Ever wonder what Elvis would tweet? Or what exactly is in a Grateful Dead cocktail? Does ZZ Top use their beards for good or evil? Does Ozzy Osbourne have bat breath? And what ever happened to Maroon 4? Discover things you never knew about your favorite rock stars in this fun look at Rock & Roll. In this second edition in his History Retweets Itself series, comedy writer Bill Rodgers offers up interesting facts about some of Rock & Roll’s greatest stars viewed through the lens of social media. Take this fun trip through Rock & Roll and enjoy the laughs along the way! #RockOnWithYourBadSelf $1.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a Bordello

What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election. And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. Are voters really ready for the whole truth? Are you? Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises. $1.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Screwball

Free: Screwball

Hayward Templeton, a psychiatry grad student at the University of Iowa, grudgingly agrees to pitch in a co-ed baseball game. A stickler for research, he discovers online how to throw a screwball and excels at it. Hayward’s team wins and while celebrating, they accidentally drop him on his head. As he lies on the ground unconscious, several teammates discuss an upcoming psych quiz. Hayward unknowingly soaks it all in. When he comes to, he begins experiencing bizarre mental disorders — on his way to the big leagues as a screwball pitcher. Screwball is as screwball does. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Mashed

Mashed

Scary Movie meets 50 Shades on The Food Network! Featuring 17 sensually sinister tales guaranteed to excite, terrify, stimulate and make you laugh! $0.99 on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: 9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer

Free: 9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer

Spectacular southern belle Emily Spankhammer is driven by love and the dubious advice of Sparkle, her mostly invisible pink unicorn spirit guide, into a quest for romance. But with Sparkle more interested in his own deranged bucket list, and men as reliable as a 1971 1.6L Ford Pinto Runabout hatchback, what could possibly go wrong? Circus performers, billionaires, detectives, and a menagerie of wild animals; Emily and Sparkle work their way through the available talent like two raccoons through a picnic hamper. Doing for romance what Spinal Tap did for progressive rock, “9 Lovers for Emily Spankhammer” has rewritten the romance novel one cliché at a time and left it noticeably unhinged. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Stealing Love

Free: Stealing Love

Israeli businessman is sent to a small Transylvanian village to find unexpected love. Funny, original and insightful look at life and human relationships, anchored in the fascinating context of Romanian village life. Zany and memorable characters who never fail to surprise the reader. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now

Free: Raising the Perfect Family and Other Tall Tales

Free: Raising the Perfect Family and Other Tall Tales

A series of lighthearted looks at typical family life. The perfect read for someone who is easily distracted by children, spouses, car repair, and plumbing leaks… usually at the same time. Free on Kindle.

amazon buy now