All The Best Quotes By Rufus & Friends In THE ROAD TO KEY WEST Series

Best-selling author Michael Reisig has probably produced more amusing, proverbial quotes than anyone in his class. The following is a collection of these from his thirteen-book “Road to Key West” series. But it’s also a clever cache of expressions and wisdoms by great authors, adventurers, and entertainers, that will make you nod your head or laugh out loud with nearly every page… (And this makes a wonderful Christmas gift…) $1.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Mauve Alert

Mauve Alert
The world needs a hilarious absurdist/rom-com/drama/sci-fi/thriller/satire and Mauve Alert is here to fill that need!

Enter the world of Ava Birchcroft, award-winning author, as she tackles daily life alongside a literary agent with a faulty metal hand, a sneering case of Writer’s Block, accusations of offending the entire Swedish nation and a global conspiracy by a mysterious trillionaire and his psychotic daughter. You’ll read nothing quite like ‘Mauve Alert’! Free on Kindle.

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Free: A Comedian Walks Into A Funeral Home

A Comedian Walks Into A Funeral Home

 

Vince Locker’s life is tragic. His comedy act for the LaughCom competition has just bombed, ruining any chance of the cash prize he desperately needed. His life is in tatters; abandoned by his father as a child, an estranged wife, Jessica, who he seems to disappoint just by his mere existence, and living in his mother’s house with his bipolar brother and facing foreclosure. As he stands on Smith Avenue Bridge, suicide seems the only option until he is unexpectedly rescued by an old school mortician named Truss. Vince meets another of Truss’s rescues, Winona. Although beyond social norms, the trio seize on a quick cash fix that just might help Vince meet his child support demands–comedic tributes for the dead. The eulogies are hilarious and off the wall, sometimes disastrous and sometimes enlightening. They propel Vince into the dark underworld of the funeral industry, life insurance scams, savage politics, a kidnapping, the murder investigation of a destitute unclaimed young woman and threats to Jessica and his young daughter. As details of the murdered young woman are slowly revealed, Vince realizes that he has many ghosts of his own to put to rest. Free on Kindle.

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Dad Jokes for New Dads

Dad Jokes for New Dads
This book is jam-packed with the most iconic dad jokes you’ll find. Your kids will not be able to stop rolling on the floor in laughter or covering their faces in embarrassment. True to the dad joke style, we’ve made sure all the jokes here are so bad they’re impossible not to laugh at. Whatever the occasion, this joke book has got you covered! $0.99 on Kindle.

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Oh Daddy Chronicles

Oh Daddy Chronicles

Gold Medal Winner – Humor – Readers’ Favorite Awards. Described as “Saturday Night Live, in written form, on steroids,” 46 hilarious skits follow the craziness of Trump’s presidency and feature fictional conversations in the Oval Office.

The unexplainable is explained, such as why Trump was so enamored with hydroxychloroquine and the real reason behind the Bible stunt at St. John’s Church. While Artisan Book Reviews calls the book “Dave Barry meets Douglas Adams,” former U.S. Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle sums it up as “Excellent political satire.” $2.99 on Kindle.

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Scam A-Lama Hardball

Jump into the sleazy side of Show Business and laugh out loud at the crazy plot twists in the fast-paced comedy crime novel. All Rock Star Marc Charles has to do to reboot his career is to sign a big, new album contract. But there’s a catch…isn’t there always? He has to record a really shitty song as part of the deal. Grab it at this special price while it’s still on pre-order. $1.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Just His Secretary: A Sweet Romantic Comedy (Southern Roots Sweet RomCom Book 1)

Just His Secretary: A Sweet Romantic Comedy (Southern Roots Sweet RomCom Book 1)

She’s just his secretary…until he needs someone on his arm to convince his mother that he can take over the family business. Then Callie becomes Dawson’s girlfriend—but just in his text messages…but maybe she’ll start to worm her way into his shriveled heart too.

Callie:

Dawson Houser makes sure everyone who comes into the office knows I’m “just his secretary.”

Heck, I’ve even said it to suppliers and CEOs when they smile knowingly at the two of us during business meetings. He scowls and grumps around the office afterward, as if the two of us dating is the most ridiculous thing on the planet.

Dawson can handle them. I can handle them—and him too, once they leave. And he’s no picnic, let me tell you.

Who can’t we handle?

His mother.

When Lila Houser comes to town with her faux furs and fashion sunglasses, she only has one question for her spoiled rotten son: When are you going to get married, Dawson, darling?

I expect him to laugh and tell her he’s never getting married. I mean, I’ve heard those exact words come out of his mouth.

Instead, he pulls me to his side and says, “Maybe sooner than you think, Mother.”

Oh, that Lila Houser can make a woman feel two inches tall with a simple up-down look. I think I’m a pretty good catch…no matter what my last three boyfriends say.

When Lila says, “I thought Callie was just your secretary,” I suddenly want to prove her dead wrong…Free on Kindle.

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The Road To COVID-30: Self-Help Satire For The Soul

The Road To COVID-30: Self-Help Satire For The Soul

Inspired by self-help books which are generally not applicable during a global pandemic (especially hot yoga), and the unique moment when first-world countries started comparing themselves with Iraq – this book is meant to unravel the mysteries of the reality presented to you. $0.99 on Kindle.

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The Doomsday Machine

The Doomsday Machine
A COMEDY TWIST ON THE TRADITIONAL SCI-FI SPACE OPERA

Could you work with your ex? Could you trust them to keep your secrets?

In the first book of this parody space opera series, garbage freighter Space Scrap 17 is selected for a top-secret mission. Captain Daisy Daryl and XO Michigan Jones must forget their failed romance and work together to save their ship from the Doomsday Machine. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Scam A-Lama Ding Dong: A Funny, Noir Rock Star Rip-Off

SCAM A-LAMA DING DONG: A FUNNY, NOIR ROCK STAR RIP OFF
Scam A-Lama Ding Dong book 1 in A Funny Scam series is a Noir mashup of dark humor, crime and Classic Rock starring ageing rock star Marc Charles. He’s seen a few scams in his time, but never one like this cheeky fraud scheme. Slide into the sleazy side of Show Business with Marc as he battles the scammers in this absolute nutcracker of a sexy comedy crime plot. Loud, funny and frenetic, the music is Classic Rock and Soul. The humor is dark. The story is today. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Three Dogs And A Wedding: A Rescue Dog’s Funny Story

Three Dogs And A Wedding: A Rescue Dog's Funny Story
The best day to be Best Dog is Valentine’s Day

Like all dogs, Elliott understands about love, and he’s already helped rescue Paul and Adriana’s romance, but it seems that Adman Jamie can only see the dollars. He schemes to turn the wedding into a televised moneymaking event, with Elliott as Best Dog at Paul and Adriana’s wedding. It’s not going to be easy though, as Adriana’s family object to the idea. Will it cause a family rift? Can the celebrity dog become Best Dog too? Free on Kindle.

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The Ping-Pong Champion of Chinatown

The Ping-Pong Champion of Chinatown
Buffeted by an ever-optimistic attitude, Gertie McDowell, a naive young girl from backwoods Kentucky, pens her diary–a series of bizarre misadventures that take her from starring on a foot fetish site in Los Angeles to hustling bets as a mechanical bull rider in Texas. From serving a stint in West Virginia’s Alderson Prison, because she “trusted the wrong kind of fella,” to getting sold into white slavery. But perhaps her crowning mishap is seeking the ping-pong championship of San Francisco’s Chinatown–all while hiding out in the Witness Protection Program. A zany yet tender book that will have you laughing out loud. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Santa’s Pandemic Cruise

SANTA'S PANDEMIC CRUISE

As scrap metal prices plummet and tourism to the North Pole drops drastically the Russians have an old Icebreaker that they don’t need.

Later as two American Icebreakers steam towards Alaska from a trip to the North Pole they’re overtaken by that old ship travelling at full speed. $2.99 on Kindle.

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Free: An Accidental Royal Kidnap

An Accidental Royal Kidnap
Need a good laugh? Then grab this hilarious, and often surreal, regal romp that’s packed with majestic mystery, aristocratic intrigue & Great British humor. Join London schoolteacher George Nearly as he tries to work out why there’s a woman on his rug claiming to be a princess, what happened last night and why she thinks she’s been kidnapped! Free on Kindle.

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Free: Once Upon a Death

Once Upon a Death

I never chose death—death chose me.
Now I choose change.
Kaah Maah had been the reaper for over a millennia. The mundane repetition of collecting souls night after night from an ever-increasing population was beginning to grind on him. Kaah had witnessed an ocean of unique faces, all confronted with their final moments on earth. Though different in appearance they all showed one final emotion—fear.
Kaah wanted a change. He craved quiet serenity, where he could perfect his yoga poses while listening to his favorite singer Michael Bublè. Kaah wanted nothing more than to retire and become a ‘no one special’ in a ‘nowhere special’ town.
When strange things began happening in Deadend, Ohio, the question had to be asked.
You might be able to take the reaper away from death, but can you ever actually take death away from the reaper? Free on Kindle.

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The Gopher King

The Gopher King

Caddyshack meets Apocalypse Now, as a suicidal army veteran with PTSD finds salvation with the help of a magical creature who commands a weaponized army of 20,000 subterranean freedom fighters. These supernatural friends provide an unlikely path to redemption. What could possibly go wrong? $0.99 on Kindle.

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How to Leash a Thief

How to Leash a Thief

Life in Pleasant Hills, Texas, flows like sweet molasses. Normally. But nothing is pleasant or normal about murder.

On a hot summer night, southern and sassy Steely Lamarr discovers someone murdered the janitor at her newly acquired dog-grooming shop. Unfortunately, the rest of the community considers the deceased riffraff and a stain on society. But for Steely, the mysterious death of the coworker hits the heart. Steely vows to track down the killer with the help of her motley crew, a cheeky Chihuahua and her best friend Daniel. Except her dogged determination puts her in the doghouse. Especially with the gorgeous, new police officer in town.

When a bank heist turns Pleasant Hills upside down, Steely suspects the two crimes are related, and she sets out to prove it. As Steely chases clues across town, she winds up a suspect, on the murderer’s radar, and her boyfriend kicks her to the curb. She soon realizes, sometimes, the culprit is the one you’d never suspect who’s as crooked as a dog’s hind leg.

Can Steely catch the larcenous killer before she becomes the next victim? $0.99 on Kindle.

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Dargo, Eco Hero! A Feel-Good Novella

HILARIOUS, HEART-WARMING, DIFFERENT and DELIGHTFUL!
A lonely young man suffers a massive defeat. When all is lost, he meets a fiery fortune-teller who pleads with him to save her.
Can he re-invent himself as a hero?
An enjoyable timely tale that will appeal to the magic in all of us.
Illustrations. $0.99 on Kindle.

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