Free: The Dead of August

Free: The Dead of August
Life and love on the verge of a nervous breakdown: a bitterly funny, darkly satirical tale of modern-day anxieties and hidden sexual tensions, set across the “fashionable” edges of contemporary London. Free on Kindle.

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Humorous Incidents, Short Stories and Essays: Beach Towns, Politics of Everybody, and Government That Works

Humorous Incidents, Short Stories and Essays: Beach Towns, Politics of Everybody, and Government That Works

Our tale is about Li’l Johny, as he wades through the literal and political swamp of south Alabama’s peculiar politics of everybody, wandering from the wetlands to the beach, traversing the Backcountry Trail, bordered by the jurisdiction of the Orange Beach Government.

This collection of humorous incidents, short stories and essays provides a platform for addressing political points that local government has not, or is not willing to tackle like rebating the 4-mil property tax.

The plan is to make people aware that vast wealth is hidden in the vaults at City Hall ($40 Million in cash reserves), but the residents (population: 5,600) are seeing no revenue sharing in their pockets. This situation is not a dark humor short story, but the sad reality of unbridled ambition.

The key issue is local government’s sense of solutionism, meaning one vision is the best solution for everyone moving forward, possibly exporting the mayor’s brand of leadership to all the beaches of the world as an example of pro-growth tourism.

Some people will argue the Orange Beach government has a vision. I refer you to this quote, “…load up and come to a council meeting so that u can get the facts, the real truth and stop being educated into further ignorance by following this site [Facebook],” posted by Orange Beach Mayor Tony Kennon on Facebook.

We are blessed in our country to have a voice, and with this voice I ask for a government that works, respecting other ideas without being called down in the Council Chambers. I argue for a chance to free Council Members from the yoke of always voting unanimously with the Mayor.
Perhaps Council Districting is the answer, forcing Council Members to live in the neighborhoods they represent, voting for their constituents’ best interests instead of serving the city at-large. Perhaps we could ask Council Members to voluntarily share their personal and business tax returns, disclosing what development projects they, or their family members hold a financial interest in.

This is why we are here, creating a sense of financial transparency, and rebating a small portion of the city’s wealth back to the residents. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Curious Men

Curious Men
A collection of notable short stories by an author with the “ability to crawl inside the psyches of her characters.” San Francisco Review of Books.

Curious Men: He-time Tales is the companion volume to Me-Time Tales: tea breaks for mature women and curious men. The curious men now have their say. $0.99 on Kindle

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The Famous Union

The Famous Union

Famous Union College is a slow-moving train wreck, a place where what is what is not.

Two hapless heroes.

An exhibitionist secretary.

Bumbling administrators.

A paranoid football coach.

Conniving coeds.

A sex-obsessed football player.

Who knows what will happen next…$0.99 on Kindle.

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How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody)

How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody)
In this brilliantly funny book, Ronnie Champ shares stories from his own life to show you:

– How to use the Seven Habits of Highly Dominant People in the bathroom, so that you will always have your sh*t together
–  How to leverage the Law of Attraction to turn the entire Universe into your personal genie and sex slave, so that you can get all the lucky breaks and all the freaky hoes
– How to walk into any brothel in the world and get a girlfriend with only $117 in counterfeit money
– And much, much more! $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: The 7 Habits of Highly Dominant People (Parody)

Free: The 7 Habits of Highly Dominant People (Parody)
The 7 Habits of Highly Dominant People has transformed the lives of many inmates at the Puddville, Alabama Psychiatric Hospital, including men and women who think they are Kings, Queens, Presidents, and the reincarnation of Elvis Presley. In short, dozens of people of all ages and professions have benefited from Ronnie Champ’s wisdom, and now you can too! This book contains an excerpt from Ronnie Champ’s classic self-help parody, How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People, as well as an exclusive Q & A with author and professional DOMINATOR Ronnie Champ.

Free on Kindle. (Free from April 2nd through April 4th)

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Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again!

Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again!
Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon are back for another irreverent, liberal, twisty, time-travel comedy! This time they have Jesus Christ, the actual guy, on their side. What would happen if a gun-hating brown-skinned Jesus time traveled to 2020 America? $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Awaken the Giant Asshole Within!

Free: Awaken the Giant Asshole Within!
Are you ready to awaken the giant asshole within? Are you ready to achieve true greatness in Life? Then you will benefit from the wisdom of Ronnie Champ, professional Dominator.

This book is a collection of three funny parodies, excerpted from Mr. Champ’s hilarious self-help parody, How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People; his politically incorrect satire, Mismanagement Is an Art; and his humor blog, www.RonnieChamp.com.

Ronnie Champ’s inner giant is woke, and he’s stomping around like Godzilla, tearing shit up, and crushing people like bugs under his feet! If you want to wake up the giant within you, then this book can show you how! Free on Kindle.

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How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody)

How to Win Girlfriends and Dominate People (Self-Help Parody)
In this brilliantly funny book, Ronnie Champ shares stories from his own life to show you:

  • How to use the Seven Habits of Highly Dominant People in the bathroom, so that you will always have your sh*t together
  • How to leverage the Law of Attraction to turn the entire Universe into your personal genie and sex slave, so that you can get all the lucky breaks and all the freaky hoes
  • How to walk into any brothel in the world and get a girlfriend with only $117 in counterfeit money
  • And much, much more! $2.99  on Kindle.

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Free: NASA’s 1st Mission to Mars – For What?!!!

Free: NASA’s 1st Mission to Mars – For What?!!!
“A spellbinding mix of drama, sci-fi, and humor, delivered in a style that is inimitable, and featuring awesome characters on a rollicking ride to Mars and back.” Penniless, flat broke, sleeping in a cardboard box in a tent city on the South Side of Chicago, this formerly undistinguished man, Stanley Marczek, becomes the first man to walk on Mars. How is it possible? The capacity to survive in a confined space, for months, on the journey to Mars is one clue. He accepts NASA’s offer, seeing it as an opportunity to remake his life, earn a cool three million bucks, and return to Earth a hero. But when the mission is complete, he publicly questions the wisdom of all manned missions to Mars, to the embarrassment of NASA. On this adventure, you’ll experience the challenge and all the excitement of a real Mars landing and visit by Man. Free on Kindle.

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Barnabas Tew and the Case of the Nine Worlds

Barnabas Tew and the Case of the Nine Worlds

Everyone’s favorite bumbling detective, Barnabas Tew, is back! He’s as confused as ever but is ready to save the world once more…this time from Ragnarok. It seems that someone has set in motion a string of events that will trigger the ending of the world as we know it, unless Barnabas can discover the culprit and foil the plan before it’s too late. Can he make his way through the Nine Worlds of Viking mythology and outwit the dastardly mastermind behind the plan, or is Ragnarok inevitable? $2.99 on Kindle.


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Free: Zombie Bot (Spyware Book 1)

Free: Zombie Bot (Spyware Book 1)
Zombies, hackers and U.S. Senators—what could be scarier?

A modern sci-fi political satire where cable news & social media is used to infect the brains of the American public! Hacker Eddy Pending has discovered the virus, but is forced to run from the deadly Men in Rose Coloured Glasses.

“the tension-ridden tale progresses…until its stellar ending”—Kirkus Reviews. Free on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

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That Guy (Humor)

That Guy (Humor)

“That Guy” is a life changing read. My 3rd cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he is still doing heroin. Another guy I went to high school with didn’t read it either, and I just heard that his wife left him. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead. This book will change your life. Just ask the guy who lives down the street from me who just got another D.U.I. He didn’t read this book either.

There have been many great memoirs written by people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, mental illness, Autism, divorce, crappy childhoods, parenting, divorce, hiking mountains, traveling, surviving crashes, being molested, attempting suicide, cancer, and even having lots of cats. I think there is even a memoir written by a guy who was born with no arms or legs, and for the life of me I still can’t figure out how he wrote it.

“That Guy” is just like all those books, only better. It is so powerful that some critics are calling it the next Bible. This is the first ever memoir written about the day to day struggle with being a real as*hole. It was written to inspire the millions and millions of other as*holes in the world who are going through the same things I did. I struggled with being called an as*hole for as long as he could remember, and I didn’t find true happiness until I accepted the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. Then I went out and found people even fatter and uglier than that person and made fun of them until I felt better about myself. Now I probably don’t even need to take my antidepressants anymore, or read that Tony Robbins self-help book my mom bought me for Christmas last year. This is my remarkable true story. $0.99 on Kindle.

 
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Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a Bordello
What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth?

Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.

And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father,
Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all.

He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become.

Are voters really ready for the whole truth?

Are you?

Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises. $0.99 on Kindle.
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The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.

The Game: It’s All Fantasy. Really.
Religion and fantasy sports collide in this over-the-top, crude satire that focuses on Danny’s alcohol-fueled obsession with the Game, an annual contest hosted by the Game Masters. Danny will do anything to be Chosen (with a capital C), but there’s the rub: even if he is Chosen, he won’t know it until the Game is over. He also doesn’t have any way of knowing what the rules to the Game are. But that’s just life, ya know? Or is it the Game? All bets are off in this thinly veiled mockery of everything you hold dear. $3.99 on Kindle.

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Oh the times! Oh the customs!

Oh the times! Oh the customs!
Surreal, cynical and satirical look at the absurdity of our own established set of societal norms and the modern world itself. $0.99 on Kindle.

 

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Free: The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned – Coinworld: Book One

Free: The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned – Coinworld: Book One
The world has a new hero, but he’s short a penny.

After meeting a sagacious Indian nickel, 4¢ Ned discovers within himself a million buck’s of e pluribus awesome. Teaming up with a luckless Lincoln penny, the three intrepid coins set out to save Coinworld from a worthless future and become the champions of small change everywhere. A bigger world never came in a smaller package. Buck ‘n’ roll! Free on Kindle.


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