Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus

Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus

Where Art Linkletter left off, Santa Don picks up! After asking kids for their wish lists at Christmas as a volunteer Santa Claus, the author has heard it all. Now he shares the best of the best 85 stories. You’ll laugh, cry and recall the true meaning of Christmas for children. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always touching and sweet, these stories will entertain and warm the hearts of readers. Santa Tells All! $2.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny)

Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny)

For generations, we’ve been writing poems about romance, love, and what happens in the bedroom. This is a book dedicated to ruining all those poems and every relationship you’ve ever had.

These poems are perverse and immature. They’re shocking, yet also sometimes what you secretly wish you could say.

Give these poems to your partner to ruin any Valentine’s Day!

Poems written from both the perspective of the man and the woman, these love poems will have you howling in laughter by the end of the book. Free on Kindle.
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Hairbag Nation: A Story of the New York City Transit Police (Book 1:The Police Riot)

HAIRBAG NATION: A Story of the New York City Transit Police, Book 1, The Police Riot

Being a cop in New York City can be challenging. Being a cop in the NYC subway can be disheartening.

The daily environment of the transit cop – the dirt, grime, urine, graffiti, homeless, crowds, noise, and crime is enough to stifle anyone’s spirit.

Throw in a hefty helping of inept leadership, ridiculous summons and arrest quotas, problems at home, and an unappreciative public and it’s no wonder that some cops fall prey to cynicism, apathy and indifference. Police in New York City have a term for these burnt-out cops – hairbags.

This is the story of an oddball group of misfits who patrolled New York City’s subterranean underworld during the 1980s. This is Hairbag Nation. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Dearest Fluffy

Dearest Fluffy
When you’re stuck hundreds of miles from home, what do you turn to for fun? It probably didn’t exist in 1861. But writing did. And letters. Remember them? Little pieces of trees wrapped in other little pieces of trees. Back then, sheep were pretty common on farms, because everybody had to darn their own socks. Have you ever tried to darn your own socks uphill both ways in the snow? Me neither, but let’s pretend.

What was a bored Union soldier supposed to do with all that free time between marching and skirmishes? Take a nap? Shave? Writing letters doesn’t sound so bad, now, does it? So, J.J. wrote home to a sheep (and other animals). Cut him some slack! He’s wearing wool, after all. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Jack Hansen – Small Man of the Big City

Jack Hansen - Small Man of the Big City
Do you feel like a squirrel trapped inside a spinning wheel? Then you simply haven’t met Jack Hansen yet! Jack is an alright guy, but he’s always betrayed by his bad luck. His neighbor, Garry, is always hooking up with yet another stunner. His co-worker, Bill, is constantly pursuing a brunette who ignores him. The toady Larson is always fawning and groveling to ingratiate himself to and become his boss’s favorite. Austin next door does not believe in the sincerity of his lover Phil’s feelings for him. And, just perhaps, it is the mysterious young woman from the window across the street from his who is entirely to blame for the fact that Jack’s day has taken an unexpected turn for the worse, and proceeds to go to the dogs? Free to $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Managed Care

Managed CareBook of the Year. Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a year’s advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesn’t think so, which is why the thirty-three-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess match feud with management that doesn’t occupy nearly enough of his time. Free on Kindle.

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Free: The Failure of Harvard: Harvard’s Total Ideological and Intellectual Failure

The Failure of Harvard: Harvard's total Ideological and Intellectual Failure
This book is like no other book ever written about our educational system and academia.

This book intellectually and hysterically kicks the living $#!t out of our broken and dysfunctional system of “higher education”

As the riots in America attest to, there is clearly something inherently wrong with academia. It is all too evident Social Justice Warriors, brainwashed by our schools, are being led down a dark totalitarian & Marxist path.

This book saves them….and gives the readers many laughs. Free on Kindle.

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The Indubitable World of Super Clutz Vol. 2: Tex Fourdor’s Revenge

The Indubitable World of Super Clutz Vol. 2: Tex Fourdor’s Revenge
William’s life is more complicated now that he’s one of the world’s most sought out superheroes. Can he stop Tex Fourdor’s sinister plan before it’s too late? $2.99 on Kindle.

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The Indubitable World of Super Clutz Vol. 2: Tex Fourdor’s Revenge

The Indubitable World of Super Clutz Vol. 2: Tex Fourdor's Revenge
William’s life is more complicated now that he’s one of the world’s most sought out superheroes. Can he stop Tex Fourdor’s sinister plan before it’s too late? $2.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

Free: Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

‘A dark humorous short story collection bursting with surprises.’

Enter a world where Stars, champions, celebrities, and winners dazzle you to death.

This offbeat short story collection tempts you with an entertaining and at times gobsmacking glimpse inside the strange lives of the bizarre crew who people fame and infamy. But be warned, addiction to celebrity can take a nasty turn and notoriety has the habit of becoming deadly. Free on Kindle.

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Free: Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

Free: Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

‘A dark humorous short story collection bursting with surprises.’

Enter a world where Stars, champions, celebrities, and winners dazzle you to death.

This offbeat short story collection tempts you with an entertaining and at times gobsmacking glimpse inside the strange lives of the bizarre crew who people fame and infamy. But be warned, addiction to celebrity can take a nasty turn and notoriety has the habit of becoming deadly. Free on Kindle.

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Free: Accidental Lazarus

Free: Accidental Lazarus
It is sort of annoying having dead people dropping by at all hours…

A paranormal detective like Dave Callaghan has already seen everything, but he never expected to find a presumed dead mobster drinking scotch in his armchair. He is definitely unhappy when he (it?) engages him to find out who shot him. But the worse is yet to come; Dave’s girlfriend gets involved and the real trouble begins.

Episode 1 of the DEAD & BUSY series will keep you laughing to the (bitter) end. Free on Kindle.

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To Be Lovely, Be In Love!

To Be Lovely, Be In Love!
If life’s left you on a cold slab in love’s mortuary, your problem is simple: you’ve lost the art of being lovely. The cure? Atlanta society matron Constance Fontanne’s landmark first book on love, looks, and marriage. Miss Fontanne shows you how to jump back into your bowl of cherries and stop living the life of the ho-hum and hum-drum. To buttress her advice, Miss Fontanne references personal friends from her country club who have become lovely by being in love with singing monks, television repairmen, and old frat boys.

Even if you live in Lunch Pail, USA and you’ve mentally divorced your man for psychic nonsupport, take heart! Forget about matching your handbag and accessories! Constance Fontanne promises to change your attitude, fashion, and personality with her graduate studies in being lovely by being in love! $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Celebrity Roast – Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

Free: Celebrity Roast – Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts
“A dark humorous short story collection bursting with surprises.”

Enter a world where Stars, champions, celebrities, winners dazzle you to death.

An aging celebrity is desperate to hit the headlines again.

Once the darling of the tabloids and celeb weeklies, Annabel misses the headlines… but she’ll soon fix that with a spectacular jaw-dropping snapshot of self-delusion! And that’s just for openers.

All manner of nutty Rock Stars, back up singers, actors, teen idols and Classic Soul Stars strut their stuff for you.

This offbeat short story collection tempts you with an entertaining and at times gobsmacking glimpse inside the strange lives of the bizarre crew who people fame and infamy. But be warned, addiction to celebrity can take a nasty turn and notoriety has the habit of becoming deadly. Free on Kindle.

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Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts
“A dark humorous short story collection bursting with surprises.”

Enter a world where Stars, champions, celebrities, winners dazzle you to death.

An aging celebrity is desperate to hit the headlines again.

Once the darling of the tabloids and celeb weeklies, Annabel misses the headlines… but she’ll soon fix that with a spectacular jaw-dropping snapshot of self-delusion! And that’s just for openers.

All manner of nutty Rock Stars, back up singers, actors, teen idols and Classic Soul Stars strut their stuff for you.

This offbeat short story collection tempts you with an entertaining and at times gobsmacking glimpse inside the strange lives of the bizarre crew who people fame and infamy. But be warned, addiction to celebrity can take a nasty turn and notoriety has the habit of becoming deadly. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Typo Squad Book III: The Typo Alliance

Typo Squad Book III: The Typo Alliance

Typos are lethal to 98% of the population. Be thankful typo squad is on patrol …

Typo Squad is dealt a terrible blow by Anton Nym and his new errorist cell, known as the Erristocracy. But when all seems lost, the tide turns with the rise of the Typo Alliance.

With a new headquarters, a new captain, and the arrival of some truly unexpected allies, Typo Squad is set on a collision course with the most dangerous foes they’ve ever faced.

Will Dick and his team be able to overcome the odds and make the world safe from typos once and for all? Or will Nym and his inner circle be victorious in the end? $2.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Instapoet

Free: Instapoet

For classmates, Max Wilson & Jeff Button, their disdain towards Texas Tech’s exclusive English department divides relationships. Yet, a new medium, ‘Glanceagram’, is discovered and their dreams of becoming an ‘instapoet’ turn into a grandiose reality neither expected. “Instapoet”, a comedy, draws inspiration from the illustrious Instagram subcommunity. Analyzing trends and exposing devious practices, this novel centralizes on how one’s moral compass is contested with lofty expectations and delusions of grandeur. Free on Kindle.

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Time Is Irreverent

Time Is Irreverent
An irreverent, liberal, twisty, time travel comedy! What if you could change history to eliminate slavery, World War II, the Spanish Inquisition, global warming, and an egomaniacal nuclear-bomb-dropping US president? What if that change also made 5 billion people poof from existence? Would you do it?

“Ironic, original, hysterically funny, deftly crafted, and an impressively entertaining read from first page to last”—Midwest Book Review $0.99 on Kindle.

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