450 One Line Insults and Put Downs: Funny Put Downs and Horrible Insults That’ll Win Any Argument

450 One Line Insults and Put Downs: Funny Put Downs and Horrible Insults That'll Win Any Argument
If you want to verbally destroy your friends and family with hilarious comebacks, without sounding like a child, then read on…

Looking to zing your friends, family, and co-workers with laughable one-liners?

Want a quick and simple insult that is perfect for every situation?

In need of a hilarious gag gift that’ll leave your recipient laughing out loud?

If so, 450 One Line Insults and Put Downs is for you, because it was written by professional comedians that specialize in raunchy retorts, crafted comebacks, and ouch-worthy insults.

Imagine having hundreds of hilarious responses at your disposal next time someone, friend or foe, tries to pick you fight with you!

Why This Book Is Different:

This book is different because it is jam-packed with content that is ACTUALLY funny for adults.

You’ll Soon Discover:

Hundreds of jaw-dropping and hilarious insults that will leave your opponent speechless.

The perfect one-line comeback for the friend that just loves giving you the finger.

Why this book is the perfect gag gift for someone that could use a helping hand in an argument.

What your personality, a busted chapstick, and beached whale all have in common.

A few golden classics involving your mother and all the terrible things about her.

And so much more! $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Would You Rather Kids Series: Big Collection of 1200+ Creative Scenarios & Thought Provoking Questions for Kids and Family (6 in 1)

Would You Rather Kids Series: Big Collection of 1200+ Creative Scenarios & Thought Provoking Questions for Kids and Family (6 in 1)
Entertain Your Kids with 1200+ ‘Would You Rather’ Questions without Inventing Them Yourself!

What if you plan a long road trip with your kids and need something to keep them entertained along the way? Imagine having a family game night, where everybody laughs out loud and has a good time. That is what you can make happen from this great collection of ‘would you rather’ questions. Everybody will laugh like crazy while trying to explain their choices.

It is so crucial for parents to spend quality time with their kids. According to several research studies, children develop positive behaviors and better self-esteem when they have memorable experiences with their parents and family members. It also strengthens the bond of the family unit.

As a result, your children will be a good friend to other people and perform better in their academic studies.

Here is what is included in this big book:

More than 1200 original ‘would you rather’ questions that are suitable for children between the ages of 6 and 12 years old.

Questions that promote family-friendly humor and good clean fun. Parents and kids can enjoy hundreds of thought-provoking scenarios with 100% kid-appropriate material.

Engaging family activities that offer screen-free fun to your kids. They will be engaged for hours without ever staring at a computer screen!

Opportunities to start conversations with your kids and spend time with them.

Humorous and entertaining activities that are suitable for all occasions. It makes the perfect gift to give a child! Free on Kindle.
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2020, An Obese Turtle: 101 COVID Words and Phrases We Want to Forget

2020, An Obese Turtle: 101 COVID Words and Phrases We Want to Forget
A funny, satirical and touching book about the myriad of new words and phrases 2020 and COVID-19 have given us. From Zumping (getting dumped on Zoom), to Covidiots to “when can I hug again” this humorous list covers 101 of the most poignant words and phrases. Some we just want to forget, some will live with us forever. A percent of profits will be donated to essential workers. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Dear Dr Cornflake: For Loonies 8-118

Dear Dr Cornflake: for loonies 8-118
Dr. Cornflake replies to his patient’s letters in his own unique and inimitable style. A nutty book that makes perfect reading for those with a zany sense of humor. Ideal for teenage boys and anyone whose fun faculty needs a jolt. There are dozens of letters to peruse and to be amazed with, and if you can get beyond a few pages without going into hysterics of laughter, then you really are a deadpan character. Free on Kindle.

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Massive in Lapland

A Christmas Story for Alan Rose and Frankie Fortune.
Alan gets the trip of a lifetime. A trip to Lapland to see Santa’s grotto and the Northern Lights. All he has to do is perform a couple of stand up shows to bemused Finns.
Pekka Pekkonen is Finland’s finest comedian, but he’s had enough of the limelight and wants out.
When Alan and Pekka meet, will they discover who really is Massive In Lapland? $1.24 on Kindle.

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Arnold Falls

Arnold Falls

Spend time in the funny, oddball village of Arnold Falls, where larger-than-life characters deal with the smallest of problems.

Somehow, it all comes out right in the end. Arnold Falls is a novel that tips its hat to Armistead Maupin and P. G. Wodehouse, creating a world in which food, music, friendship, love, and tending your own garden are connected in surprising ways.

“Brings back fun and enjoyment into the world” -Feathered Quill

“Incredibly funny” -Kirkus Reviews

“Arnold Falls has the feel of an instant classic, with shades of Richard Russo and T.C. Boyle but a sweetness and optimism that sets it apart…Endless fun” – BlueInk Reviews $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: The Gopher King

The Gopher King
A suicidal former platoon sergeant, sole survivor of a Vietnam War jungle ambush, is haunted by what he perceives as his cowardly past. Debilitated by guilt and mourning the death of his wife, small-town newspaper publisher Stan Przewalski lives in a PTSD-fueled world where it is impossible to distinguish reality from fantasy. Free on Kindle.

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Free: The Fly and the Cheese: Say You’re Sorry

The Fly and the Cheese: Say You're Sorry
Fly hated to apologize. In fact, he had never said the word sorry in his life. Fly finds himself in a hard situation only apologizing will get him out of. What is Fly to do? What does it take for him to apologize? This is an endearing, beautifully illustrated story that children will love to read over and over again. Parents and educators will find many hidden lessons and conversations to build upon while engaging our children in a fun activity! Free on Kindle.

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The Joint of No Return

The Joint of No Return

Bumbling stoner Charlie Hong has spent the last year in hiding, cultivating one last hare-brained scheme to escape his troubles: a clandestine marijuana operation. Just as he’s about to cash in, his cash crop is stolen by a bright light appearing in the night sky. After catching a ride with one of his plants, he finds himself thrown into a world far stranger than anything he could have possibly imagined.

Does the stoned stowaway have what it takes to free the Starseed—a massive living spaceship overflowing with bizarre life forms—from the clutches of a mysterious force field trapping it in Earth’s orbit?

Is he up for the challenge of fighting an evil Reptilian race bent on enslaving humanity?

More importantly, before he decides anything, does he have time to light one up? $0.99 on Kindle.

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My Neighbours Are Stealing My Mail

My Neighbours Are Stealing My Mail
More hilarious ghostly capers with Alan Rose and the Ghost of a 1970s stand – up comedian Frankie Fortune.

In their fourth book Alan Rose has quit his job and, much to his disappointment moved in with his girlfriend, Rosie. But if only it was. Rosy, that is. You see, he’s not getting any mail. Convinced his neighbors are stealing it, he investigates. Only to find evidence of…witchcraft.

Meanwhile the Merton Palace Theatre is being renovated. As the building work continues, strange noises can be heard from the cellar. What have the builders disturbed?

The crew of the cable TV show Scared Stiff are sent in to broadcast the strange happenings live on air.

What could possibly go wrong? $1.30 on Kindle.

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Free: Holy Roundness

Holy Roundness
When a cult flourishes around a mysterious, floating sphere, believers may be in for a big surprise. Free on Kindle.

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Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus

Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus

Where Art Linkletter left off, Santa Don picks up! After asking kids for their wish lists at Christmas as a volunteer Santa Claus, the author has heard it all. Now he shares the best of the best 85 stories. You’ll laugh, cry and recall the true meaning of Christmas for children. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always touching and sweet, these stories will entertain and warm the hearts of readers. Santa Tells All! $2.99 on Kindle.

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Buy on iTunes

Free: Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny)

Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny)

For generations, we’ve been writing poems about romance, love, and what happens in the bedroom. This is a book dedicated to ruining all those poems and every relationship you’ve ever had.

These poems are perverse and immature. They’re shocking, yet also sometimes what you secretly wish you could say.

Give these poems to your partner to ruin any Valentine’s Day!

Poems written from both the perspective of the man and the woman, these love poems will have you howling in laughter by the end of the book. Free on Kindle.
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Hairbag Nation: A Story of the New York City Transit Police (Book 1:The Police Riot)

HAIRBAG NATION: A Story of the New York City Transit Police, Book 1, The Police Riot

Being a cop in New York City can be challenging. Being a cop in the NYC subway can be disheartening.

The daily environment of the transit cop – the dirt, grime, urine, graffiti, homeless, crowds, noise, and crime is enough to stifle anyone’s spirit.

Throw in a hefty helping of inept leadership, ridiculous summons and arrest quotas, problems at home, and an unappreciative public and it’s no wonder that some cops fall prey to cynicism, apathy and indifference. Police in New York City have a term for these burnt-out cops – hairbags.

This is the story of an oddball group of misfits who patrolled New York City’s subterranean underworld during the 1980s. This is Hairbag Nation. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Dearest Fluffy

Dearest Fluffy
When you’re stuck hundreds of miles from home, what do you turn to for fun? It probably didn’t exist in 1861. But writing did. And letters. Remember them? Little pieces of trees wrapped in other little pieces of trees. Back then, sheep were pretty common on farms, because everybody had to darn their own socks. Have you ever tried to darn your own socks uphill both ways in the snow? Me neither, but let’s pretend.

What was a bored Union soldier supposed to do with all that free time between marching and skirmishes? Take a nap? Shave? Writing letters doesn’t sound so bad, now, does it? So, J.J. wrote home to a sheep (and other animals). Cut him some slack! He’s wearing wool, after all. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Jack Hansen – Small Man of the Big City

Jack Hansen - Small Man of the Big City
Do you feel like a squirrel trapped inside a spinning wheel? Then you simply haven’t met Jack Hansen yet! Jack is an alright guy, but he’s always betrayed by his bad luck. His neighbor, Garry, is always hooking up with yet another stunner. His co-worker, Bill, is constantly pursuing a brunette who ignores him. The toady Larson is always fawning and groveling to ingratiate himself to and become his boss’s favorite. Austin next door does not believe in the sincerity of his lover Phil’s feelings for him. And, just perhaps, it is the mysterious young woman from the window across the street from his who is entirely to blame for the fact that Jack’s day has taken an unexpected turn for the worse, and proceeds to go to the dogs? Free to $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Managed Care

Managed CareBook of the Year. Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a year’s advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesn’t think so, which is why the thirty-three-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess match feud with management that doesn’t occupy nearly enough of his time. Free on Kindle.

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Free: The Failure of Harvard: Harvard’s Total Ideological and Intellectual Failure

The Failure of Harvard: Harvard's total Ideological and Intellectual Failure
This book is like no other book ever written about our educational system and academia.

This book intellectually and hysterically kicks the living $#!t out of our broken and dysfunctional system of “higher education”

As the riots in America attest to, there is clearly something inherently wrong with academia. It is all too evident Social Justice Warriors, brainwashed by our schools, are being led down a dark totalitarian & Marxist path.

This book saves them….and gives the readers many laughs. Free on Kindle.

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