How To Avoid Your Future Crazy Ex

How To Avoid Your Future Crazy Ex
Crazy $#!* doesn’t just happen in the movies! Sometimes people have the capacity to swan dive off the cliffs of insanity and blow a hole in your life the size of a nuclear blast crater.

How to Avoid Your Future Crazy Ex is a darkly humourous guide that uses true stories to identify the warning signs at any stage of a relationship. READ THIS before it is too late and your experience becomes another footnote in the volumes of preventable ‘crazy ex’ sagas that inspired this book. $2.99 on Kindle.
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Captain Shoelace: Seasonal Mayhem

Captain Shoelace: Seasonal Mayhem

The first book in the Captain Shoelace trilogy, this is an introduction to the crazy world of Captain Shoelace. A hilarious tale of the first year of his life in the English village of Effam. The tale is split over four seasons. Each chapter recounts how the Captain’s life accelerates into a living nightmare; as his endeavors to impress his fellow villagers constantly fall way short of the mark. This gentle narrative is a stark warning to all that pretentiousness does not pay. $1.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Managed Care

Free: Managed Care

 

Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a year’s advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesn’t think so, which is why the thirty-three-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess match feud with management that doesn’t occupy nearly enough of his time.

When foster kid Elroy is thrust into his life, Frank decides to turn this forced relationship to his advantage – launching a string of absurd decisions, inappropriate behaviors and unexpected glimpses of tenderness that ultimately turn a New Jersey suburb upside down. A laugh-out-loud celebration of bad choices for good causes, Managed Care is an offbeat story about three misfits on the social fringes of suburbia and their ridiculous campaign to introduce an unfiltered version of intimacy to their stale, impersonal community. Because, according to Frank, it’s probably what Jesus would have wanted. Free on Kindle.

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Faster Than a Whippoorwill’s Ass

Faster Than a Whippoorwill’s Ass
A.J. Goode looks at some of life’s funnier moments while sharing insights into small-town life, parenting, and class reunions. Her slightly twisted views on life and the world, in general, will lift your spirits and leave you smiling. $0.99 on Kindle.

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The Cover Up

The Cover Up

What could link a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret?

A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Chief Inspector Crispin Bissel, is in charge. He knows just the officer to front up the search, his wild, sexy ex-girlfriend, Selena Fontesse.

As Bissel dreams of kudos from finding the animal, he also dreams of rekindling the flame of lust if not love…

An outrageous madcap comedy walk on the wild side. Buy this book and forgive yourself for laughing. It’s not incorrect if you didn’t mean to. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Pianist in a Bordello

Pianist in a Bordello
What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth?

Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers, he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.

And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all.

He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become.

Are voters really ready for the whole truth?

Are you?

Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises. $0.99 on Kindle.
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Free: Reality Barks

Free: Reality Barks
A wickedly funny, tenderhearted DWC – Dog With Character, unleashes his feelings about his bizarre relationship with his new humans.
Booranyup Dog Pound is the last place a lost dog wants to end up. He knows his days are numbered. All the dogs do. Reality Barks. So this one, “Barney”, an ordinary country mutt, is amazed when two glossy Sydney Metro couples adopt him and catapult into the confusing life of a Timeshare dog. Suddenly “Barney” becomes “Elliott”, and shuttles between their two up-market homes and their Timeshare Beach House.

What happens then forever changes the Aussie bitser’s life. It’s Elliott’s “doggy confidential” story of rescue and redemption, tears, fears and laughter. He’s a clever dog with a nose for a plot. He understands everything his Metros say. Even stranger, he can read their auras too- so he always knows when Jamie, the Alpha Human of the pack, is up to no good. Then, when Jamie’s Big Plan surprises even him, Elliott has no option but to go for broke. He’s in, win, lose or draw. Dogs can dream too! Free on Kindle.

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The Bucket Shop

The Bucket Shop

Ben Thompson shows up for his job as a rookie sales rep with a brand new college degree, extra-large student loan debt and nothing at all to prepare him for life at the Americana Software and Hardware call center. Ben learns quickly how to deal with an intimidating bank of phones in a leaky wreck of a building, a psychotic boss, a sales team of misfits ranging from Alcoholic to Zany, and a drop-dead gorgeous co-worker who scares him to death.

The Bucket Shop takes the reader on a good-natured romp through a rough and tumble world of fast talk and shady dealings as Michael Angelus’s memorable characters stumble and bungle their way through a wild variety of page-turning adventures. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Dark Knights: The Dark Humor of Police Officers

Dark Knights: The Dark Humor of Police Officers

There is nothing quite like the police officer sense of humor.

Police Officers are the modern-day embodiment of medieval knights, going to work each day with a noble cause to protect and serve society. The profession requires cops to see people at their worst. They see death, tragedy, crime, and despair on a daily basis. The very nature of the tasks cops perform, and the things cops see skews their sense of humor. Sometimes, a sense of humor is the only defense mechanism in a police officer’s toolbox. Stripped of the ability to laugh, or forced to be politically correct in a politically incorrect work environment can be hazardous to one’s health. Coping becomes an essential component of a police officer’s arsenal. One of the primary coping mechanisms utilized by cops is humor. A cop can find something funny about almost anything, regardless of how tragic the circumstances. Dark humor involves making light of a serious, disturbing or taboo subject matter. It is sometimes viewed as morbid, cruel, offensive, and graphic in nature and is yet, still found funny. This is the story of the author’s twenty-year police career with the New York City Transit Police and NYPD as he worked with some of New York City’s darkest knights – those cops who did and said the funniest things under the most difficult circumstances. $0.99 on Kindle.

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Free: Running With Wolves: A Woman’s Memoir of Sex, Scandal and Seduction

Free: Running With Wolves: A Woman’s Memoir of Sex, Scandal and Seduction
Playboy, celebs, the Hollywood Casting Couch to Silicon Valley and online adult sites, the hilarious scandalous real truth behind the scenes of the adult business. Free on Kindle.
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Free: The School Bully Is My Brother

Free: The School Bully Is My Brother

A 13-year old boy joins forces with the school bully in order to stop their parents from getting married. A hilarious yet touching anti-bullying book for kids, featuring a diverse cast. Free on Kindle.

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The Famous Union

The Famous Union

Famous Union College is a slow-moving train wreck, a place where what is what is not.

Two hapless heroes.

An exhibitionist secretary.

Bumbling administrators.

A paranoid football coach.

Conniving coeds.

A sex-obsessed football player.

Who knows what will happen next…$0.99 on Kindle.

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The Bucket Shop

The Bucket Shop
Fresh out of college and desperate for work, Ben Thompson takes a job as an account rep in a wild and nutty call center. $2.99 on Kindle.

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Free: The Colourful World Of Diedre And Albert

Free: The Colourful World Of Diedre And Albert
Follow the colourful adventures of Diedre and Albert , a retired couple who live almost very happily in a miniscule food blender on the edge of some far off psychotic universe. They like to pass the time cooking, watching TV, keeping the house tidy, employing casual violence and eating people.

This book is a more complete, loud and rambunctious version of “The Obscure World of Diedre And Albert ” bursting with more gag’s, more intense wall paper, more sketches ( I know the other book doesn’t have any, but I’m in full flow so don’t stop me ) more moreness of that stuff you need more of….AND….all of this is in gloriously lurid full colour. Free on Kindle.

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In the Image of Man

In the Image of Man
There is an ancient godling adrift in the Universe and he is desperate for believers. This tiny god, who comes to be known as Bob, is small, powerless and unseen. But modern life takes its toll, even on a higher deity…and soon, there is a challenge that he may not be able to meet…

Written in a tongue-in-cheek style and beautifully written throughout. This book will make you smile. $0.99 on Kindle.

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