Wanted: A woman with grit and fire who will help me get my son’s head out of his ass.

You must be self-sufficient and not looking for a gravy train.
Common sense is a plus, book smarts are optional.
Cannot have red hair, as my son seems to go for that type and he needs something to shake him up.

Must have a backbone, but be flexible enough to bend—and I’m not talking in the bedroom—some things a mother doesn’t need to know.

Bonus points if your name is Daisy, Lily, Bluebell, Jasmine, etc.
But not Dahlia, that’s an instant no.

Must love kids, especially puberty-stricken boys who are discovering girls are more fun than video games.

Also, and this is very important, you must hate all things baseball—bonus points if you’ve never seen a game either on television or in person.

If this description is you, or fits someone you know, apply at the address below.

P.S. You must also love cows.

Sometimes a mother has to do what she has to do.
Let the games begin. $2.99 on Kindle.